“Psychopaths (whatever you want to call them) exist. I believe in the veracity of the Hare Checklist. I believe Hare is right. And I think that psychopaths can be — maybe always are — terrible malevolent forces. And I totally sympathise with anyone who gets caught up with one.”
(Source: The Huffington Post)
Recognize and support all those women you know, you have heard about or the experience you have endured….stand up and let them know they are not alone in their abuse.
The Psychology of Evil
First off, psychopath doesn’t just mean someone who cuts you up with a chainsaw — though the majority of people who do things like that are psychopaths. What’s the definition?
Psychopathy is a personality disorder that has been variously described as characterized by shallow emotions (in particular reduced fear), stress tolerance, lacking empathy, coldheartedness, lacking guilt, egocentricity, superficial char, manipulativeness, irresponsibility, impulsivity and antisocial behaviors such as parasitic lifestyle and criminality.
So which professions (other than axe murderer) do they disproportionately gravitate towards — or away from?
Most of the professions on the right require human connection, dealing with feelings and most of them don’t offer much power. Psychopaths, by their very nature, would not be drawn to or very good at these things.
On the other hand, most of the roles on the left do offer power and many require an ability to make objective, clinical decisions divorced from feelings. Psychopaths would be drawn to these roles and thrive there.
Perhaps you’ve had your fill of these sordid accounts — the celebrity gropers, the pedophile priests, the fondling in the locker room shower, the witnesses who look the other way. Why do we look the other way?
1. Abusers buff their reputation by throwing themselves into charity work. Used his philanthropy both to identify vulnerable children for his personal sport and to inoculate himself against suspicion.
2. They cultivate an aura of flamboyant eccentricity.
3. They use “the subtle early maneuvers of victim selection,” the screening out of children who object or who are supervised closely by parents, the testing, ingratiating, “grooming” and “desensitizing the target with an ever-expanding touch,” the escalation of abuse.
4. They often decline to bring a sexual abuse cases to trial “due to lack of evidence.”
“One subtler theory is that everyone looked away because we love winners, and we need them to be good people because that means the world is fair. Think Lance Armstrong. A community, in other words, needs its pillars. You would think the first imperative would be to protect the children. But by protecting the pillars of the community, we let ourselves believe we are protecting the community itself.”
(Source: The New York Times)
Making a crossroads a moment of profound and lasting change and learning how to thrive when life’s changes descend upon us can be learned.
The key to weathering life’s crossroads:
1. Do not settle for normal. When our habitual response leads us to what is expected and customary — when we choose ordinary — we can expect the unremarkable.
2. Do not resist. Attempting to control, manipulate or force things to happen is a typical response to the fear that comes with change. Some of us will be so fearful that we refuse to make a change without understanding that even if we choose not to make a decision or take action, this in and of itself is a choice. Our learned way of coping with stress and uncertainty should be reevaluated constantly as we evolve in this world. Move with the changes instead of against them.
3. Trust your deepest feelings for guidance. We all know, deep within ourselves, what we need to do — what we know, how to think, when to trust — during times of crisis. We can learn to access and trust our innate wisdom; it is personal and always available. Through this, we will know how to adjust our course, move toward our personal destiny. When we don’t follow our inner guidance, we feel a loss of power and energy.
4. Dream bigger. Change what you expect from life and then create a plan and work to cultivate the right conditions for your growth and success.
5. Limit distractions and strive to create balance in the midst of chaos. When we let go of our own or other’s agendas and when we push away the demanding concerns of the moment, we are able to hear our own thoughts. Do less at the moments of crossroads and give yourself the gift of time — time to be in the present moment. Respect the value of being here and now. Ask yourself, “What is the one area of my life that needs more balance?”
6. Failure is just another way to start again. When we face a crossroads with fearlessness and the choice turns out to be prosperous, we are hailed as a genius or visionary. When our choice creates failure, then we are judged harshly, ridiculed and diminished, and it has the potential to make being fearless more difficult when we face the next crossroads. We must remember that failing creates not only additional opportunities for success, but fosters courage and determination in those of us who are brave enough to attempt it.
When I’m faced with fear at life’s inevitable crossroads, I have learned to “let it rip” and charge “no holds barred” into the abyss — if for no other reason than to see what is there. I have emerged out the other side bloody and battered at times, but I’m stronger for having risked, taken a stand, trusted and believed.
(Source: The Huffington Post)
There is consensus that we must create and seek out tolerance — tolerance of lifestyles that challenge our “normal,” cultures that exists side by side in our strip malls and tolerance of words that others use to express their opinions. But instead, of valuing patience, understanding and accepting our differences, we are using our words to indulge in prejudice, hate and incite violence. I see this not only in our political discourse where common ground is no longer valued; I see it in family court where compromise is viewed as weakness; in families where doors slam shut before conversation is attempted and in countries where death is the solution to different.
(Source: The Huffington Post)